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A Ruffled Fanfic: Who Says Crimelords Can’t Be Romantic Or Familial?
Disclaimer: Ruffled is a Murder Mystery Audio Drama created by Michaela Laws, which can be found on under her channel of the same name on Youtube, which I shall leave a link here. This piece of fanfiction is done purely for fun by me as a fan, and NOT for profit in any way.
Timeline: Takes place after Season 1, but before Season 2. This piece also takes place immediately after my other fanfic “When A Bluejay Is, Indeed, Obnoxious”, which you can find HERE.
BEWARE SPOILERS FOR RUFFLED’S SEASON 1!!
Beware of one additional Season 2 spoiler regarding a canonical pairing.
—
It was when they were on their way out of the Cheesecake Factory when Jay seemed to finally ask the question that Ted could tell was on his mind.
“So… what’s it like with you two?” Jay asked, looking to his side at Ted as they made their way down the sidewalk, where their ride was waiting for them next to a parking meter.
Jay couldn’t be called ‘reserved’ by any means for the rest of their talk over dessert, but Ted could still catch the curious glint of an unasked question in the younger man’s eyes. It was a glint that stayed with him all through dessert and up until now. Ted knew that the only way that curious glint would disappear would be when Jay finally got the answer to whatever it was on his mind, which was how Ted knew that he has something he wanted to say, but chose not to for whatever reason.
Until now, that is.
“You’re not asking about the sex, I’m guessing,” Ted stated without even looking at him, his hands in his pockets as he walked.
Jay’s voice was heavy with sarcasm as he drawled, “Yeah. After I spent all of dessert telling you to shut up, now I’m interested in the nasty details.” Even without looking at him, Ted could tell that he was rolling his eyes.
“No, of course not, you fool. I’m talking about-,” there was a second’s pause as Jay gestured vaguely in front of him with an arm, “-the whole thing. What’s it like with you and that guy? You guys don’t strike me as the lovey dovey types.”
Having seen them leave the restaurant, their chauffeur was already out and had the door to the backseats open. After both men had climbed in and settled into their seats, the chauffeur closed the door and returned to her previous position in the driver’s seat.
It was while the chauffeur was starting up the car when Ted responded to Jay’s question with an easy shrug.
“We’re not. I’m not one for candlelight dinners and roses, and he doesn’t bother doing stuff he knows doesn’t impress me.” He looked over to Jay, just as the chauffeur began to carefully pull the car out of the parking space and onto the road. “Neither of us are the romantic types, but it works for us.”
“Aw man, seriously?” Jay sounded disappointed at the fact, and his shoulders even slumped at the answer. “How are you even a couple?” Realizing how bad that sounded, Jay began to stammer as he backtracked. “I mean… so nothing’s different with you guys?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say things are exactly the same,” Ted began with a somewhat awkward smile, a rare sight coming from the normally composed man. He lifted a hand up, as if trying to explain his new dynamic with Robin with a gesture, but when he realized he was unable to do so, he curled his fingers into a loose fist.
“You get what I mean?” he asked in an almost pleading manner, as if he wanted Jay to spare him the struggle of having to define something so vague into words. “I mean… yeah, there are the intimate moments, and of course the sexual stuff, and the flirting… maybe some wine alone together, but…” he shrugged helplessly. “I… guess things are pretty much the same between us. But like I said… it works for us, you know?”
Jay seemed unhappy with his response, which was further proven by how he pushed himself back into the backrest of his seat with his arms crossed and his brows burrowed, as if he was unable to comprehend what Ted just said. The car finally began to roll away from the street and bypassing the Cheesecake Factory both men were just in, not that either of them were paying attention.
“Man, I dunno. I always thought relationships should be more romantic, you know?” Jay looked back at Ted with a troubled expression on his face, his arms still tightly crossed across his chest. “I don’t think I could even be in a relationship like that.”
“And that’s fine,” Ted assured him with his hand raised again. “Like I said, it works for us. Not all relationships are the same. And they’re not supposed to be either.” Lowering his hand, he then raised his eyebrows in interest. “So, I guess you’re the romantic type, Jay?”
“Yeah, man!” Jay agreed immediately, throwing his arms out as his eyes grew wide. “What’s not there to like in a romantic relationship? You have a special someone that wants to take care of you, give you special treatment, and loves you for you, ya know?”
He dropped his arms and let out a sheepish smile as he thumbed at his nose in an embarrassed gesture. “So… I guess… I’d want the candlelight dinners. And the random ro-,” Jay cut himself off suddenly, frowning in thought as he looked up, “well, maybe not the roses, but-,” snapping his fingers suddenly, he pointed at Ted with a triumphant smile, “CHOCOLATES, baby! A lover that would give me chocolates and other kinds of sweets as gifts? They’d win my heart all over again right there.”
Ted laughed and nodded at that. “That’s great, Jay.” With a softer voice and a warmer smile now, he added, “Really. I hope you get that.”
“Thanks, man. Me too.” Jay shot Ted a grateful grin as he settled back to a more comfortable position in his seat. “It’d be great. I mean, it has to be, right?” His smile turned into frown. “If you can’t be happy all the time in a relationship, why waste time being in one at all? One night stands are one thing, but a long-term relationship with commitments and all that?”
He made a show of shuddering. “Oof. I won’t be able to stay in one if the other person’s only half-decent, ya know? I don’t know how Ven does it.”
“I think Venka’s happy,” Ted surmised, looking thoughtful at the thought of their more sharp-tongued friend. “I mean, other than her husband just being okay in the bedroom, from the way she described him, and from the way she looked when she’s talking about him, Venka’s husband is a good guy that takes care of her.”
Ted then looked out the window, as if making sure there wasn’t anyone spying on them that could report what he would say next back to Venka, however unlikely that may be. Still, it doesn’t hurt to be careful.
“And don’t tell her I said this, but whatever shortcomings the guy might have in the bedroom-”, he deliberately ignored Jay’s sudden giggling (“shortcomings, yeah, sure, let’s go with that,” he said humorously between giggles) in order to finish, “-what he’s like a person sounds like it more than makes up for it. I- we both know Venka. She wouldn’t settle for anything average, I think.”
“Nope,” Jay agreed, crossing his arms behind his head. “That wouldn’t be Ven, if she did. Hey,” Jay suddenly sounded like he was struck with a shocking thought, “you think she has a kid?”
“Huh? Venka?” Ted thought about it for a moment, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she did, but I’m not sure for certain.”
Considering how they were all strangers under alias the first time they met, Ted doubted that even if Venka has children, she wouldn’t be eager to share that particular piece of information with people she did not trust yet. Being both a crime lord and the rich owner of her own business, it would only be reasonable that Venka would want to protect her children from potential by not divulging information about them so carelessly. One could only imagine the number of sick-minded criminals out there that would try to take advantage of that to get Venka to do whatever they want her to do.
“Don’t laugh, but I would really want kids one day, ya know?” Jay stated, and Ted smiled fondly.
“Why would I laugh at that?” he couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped him. “That’s a great dream.”
“Really?” Jay stared at Ted skeptically. Not at all daunted by the look, Ted nodded firmly.
“Yeah, I mean it.” The older man shook his head. “Just because I’m not the romantic type doesn’t mean that I don’t believe others could get it.”
It was Jay’s turn to shake his head, looking slightly alarmed as he stared at Ted with wide eyes. “No, no, that’s not what I was thinkin’ at all!” He brought one of his hands forward to underneath his nose. “It’s just… you think I’ll be a good dad? I mean, my brothers always give me crap, ya know? Kept making jokes about how I’ll drop my kid on the head or somethin’, or give them diabetes with all the sweets I’ve been eating-”
“Nah,” Ted cut in firmly with another shake of his head, narrowing his eyes in half-serious glare. “Jay, I’m quite sure they’re just messing with you. Brothers do that, right? I’m sure they’ll be happy for you if you get a kid. You wanna know why I think you’ll be a good dad?”
“Because I act like a kid, so I’ll definitely get along with one?” Jay guessed in a somewhat bitter tone. Ted could only imagine it was a comment made by someone Jay trusted- maybe one of his brothers- that he took the wrong way.
“That,” Ted agreed, before raising a finger to point in Jay’s direction, “and you value family. You value friendship. Those are not traits a bad dad would have.” Ted smiled once more. “People may poke fun at you, but I know you’re someone who’s always eager and enthusiastic when it comes to people you care about. Whatever you don’t know about, you make up for in those.”
Ted pressed his hand to his chest. “I mean, look at me. You didn’t HAVE to be my friend after bailing me out of jail, giving me protection, a job proposal AND giving me the chance to retire comfortably for life. But you did.” He then gestured at the space between them. “And here we are now. Friends. And I’m sure I’m not the only one you reached out to. So… I think you’ll be a great dad, because you’re a great guy, Jay. And I’m sure your kid would love having you as a dad.”
Ted then shot his friend a challenging smirk. “Fight me on that, I dare you.”
Jay was quiet for a long while, staring at Ted as if looking at him as if he had given him the answer to all of his troubles. Eventually, Jay looked aware, and Ted did not miss how the he quickly brought an arm across his face once, as if wiping something away.
“Wow, you’re a sap, Ted.” Despite his words of dismissal, Ted caught the soft and almost watery note in Jay’s voice, as well as the subtle sniff before Jay turned back to look at him again with his usual impish grin. “But… wow. Thanks buddy. That… that’s really…” Jay stopped himself suddenly, glaring at Ted. “If anyone asked, we NEVER had this conversation, awright?”
“Alright.” Ted shrugged nonchalantly, turning to look out the window. “You’re a big tough guy that doesn’t cry at sentimental, heartfelt conversations, sure.”
“I did NOT cry, you jackass!”
Ted couldn’t help breaking out into another grin when he felt the indignant shove at his shoulder from behind. “A piece of advice though?” he added, turning to look at his friend again. “You might want to tone down on the swearing when you get a kid.”
“Oh no, fuck that.” Jay grinned. “My kid’s gonna be dropping F bombs when by the time he’s motherfucking three, yo.”
“Good god.” Ted pressed a palm to his face, but there was no denying the amused smile he possessed behind it.
“Freedom of speech, bud! Freedom of speech!”
A Ruffled Fanfic: When a Bluejay is, indeed, Obnoxious.
Disclaimer: Ruffled is a Murder Mystery Audio Drama created by Michaela Laws, which can be found on under her channel of the same name on Youtube, which I shall leave a link here. This piece of fanfiction is done purely for fun by me as a fan, and NOT for profit in any way.
Timeline: Takes place after Season 1, but before Season 2.
BEWARE SPOILERS FOR RUFFLED’S SEASON 1!!
Beware of one additional Season 2 spoiler regarding a canonical pairing.
—
“Ohhhh yeah baby!” Jay rubbed his hands together eagerly, his gaze pinned on the silver tray that the waitress heading their way was balancing perfectly on one hand. “Here comes the treats! The best part of the meal!
With their dinner plates having been taken away a while ago, their table has more than enough room for the waitress to place their desserts down in front of them. A slice of the Oreo Dream Extreme Cheesecake for Jay, and a hot fudge sundae for Ted. Jay couldn’t help but shake his head in what appeared to be sympathy at Ted as the waitress wandered away.
“Man, I can’t believe you ordered ice cream over the cheesecakes here.” Jay pointed his dessert spoon at the dessert cup in front of Jay. “We’re at the freaking Cheesecake Factory, man.”
“What?” Ted asked without any heat, already digging his spoon into the vanilla ice cream. “After the steak I had, I wanted something simple for dessert.” It was Ted’s turn to shoot a look at his friend’s own dessert, his eyebrows lifted. “You, on the other hand…. I don’t know how you could still eat after your steak.”
Both men had ordered steaks prior to their desserts, with Jay having the Carne Asda Steak, and Ted the Hibachi Steak. As Ted had expected, Jay had more or less *nhaled his food, while he took a more leisurely approach to eating his. Not that Jay seemed to mind his slower progress. With his mouth free of any food, Jay could talk to him about seemingly almost everything and anything as he ate. One of the many things he talked about included his disappointment at Kassum not being able to make it, being tied up with his work as a con-man. Kassum himself had sent his genuine apologies to the both of them over test and taking a raincheck for another day.
Getting together and having mainly steaks for lunch has become a thing for the three of them after the incident at Annabelle’s mansion, where Marian was murdered and Lawrence tried to kill them all. While Ted knew that the rest of the Birdcage were grateful to him from the bottom of their hearts, he still found it hard to believe that their sentiments had included the desire for friendship as well. It would be easy for them to clean their hands of him after the life-changing offers they gave him, but they all also wanted to keep in touch and stick around in his life. It was almost- emphasis on almost- easy for him to forget they’re all crimelords in their own way. Even though they all worked in shady businesses, they were still decent human beings that only wanted to get by in life.
It all proved to Ted that he made the right choice to defend them all against Lawrence, who he thought was a friend. Any darkness that was left in his heart after being forced to kill Lawrence, however unintentional it may be, was blown away when Jay had contacted him after everyone freed him from police custody and had parted ways to go back to their own lives.
It was a simple text, with a simple question that was so casual, that Ted had to stare at his phone for a long while, wondering if the younger man had asked a trick question.
“So… the big guy and I were wondering… do you like steak?”
But no, unlike a certain informant, Ted knew that it was not in Jay’s nature to be deceptive or manipulative. Not subtly, anyway. The guy was such an open book, even kids would be able to tell if Jay was lying.
Not that it was a bad thing. Ted liked Jay’s straightforwardness. He always preferred people he could take at face value than people he had to make a point to analyze and evaluate in great detail.
…Which… makes things rather ironic considering the person he’s dating now.
…Well, Ted supposed he would be kept on his toes and mentally stimulated.
That aside, that was how he, Kassum and Jay had formed their little ‘Steak Lover Club’ between the three of them, and they could occasionally meet up at different steak joints throughout the city, each of them giving their own score of the steaks of their respective restaurants with the aim of deciding which place in the entire city served the best steak. It was from those get togethers that Ted had grown closer to both Kassum and Jay as friends.
“Hey,” Jay was saying in response, jabbing his spoon in Ted’s direction again. “People always a second stomach for dessert, man.” He then made a show of huffing out a sigh before finally jabbing his spoon into his cheesecake to cut off a small slice. “It actually makes me sad when they don’t want to do anything about it. The big guy especially. Watching him never getting any desserts actually hurts me, man.”
“Damn,” Ted deadpanned in mock sympathy, resting his chin on the fist with the dessert spoon. “That’s serious. Remind me to bring a first aid kid next time then.”
“Man, fuck you,” Jay retorted without any real heat, raising his free hand to give Ted the middle finger. “And eat your ice cream. It’s melting.”
When Ted glanced down, he saw that the surface of his ice cream was, indeed, starting to melt and slide down to the bottom of the bowl in white creamy droplets. Flipping the spoon in his hand so that it’s angled towards his dish, Ted quickly began to eat.
“Might as well get milkshake if you’re gonna let it die.” With his final grumble finished, Jay dropped his arm and finally brought the spoon holding the piece of his cheesecake up to his mouth. Once the spoon was in his mouth, Jay’s eyes grew wide with euphoria. As if struck by a spell, Jay brought the spoon out of his mouth before slumping back in his seat, letting out a long and shaky moan of delight even as he chewed.
“Ohh, yeah,” he said in between chews, his words slightly garbled due to talking with a full mouth. “Screw Kassum, man. He’s really missing out. Every time.”
While quietly eating his own dessert, Ted quirked an eyebrow at the other man. In his mind, the reaction Jay had just now was a bit too extreme over a simple piece of cheesecake. The food at the Cheesecake Factory were all good, sure, but not enough to warrant that kind of reaction. It also didn’t help that Jay’s reaction just now reminded him of the kind of reactions people would do when doing… other things.
After a spoonful of ice cream, Ted hummed thoughtfully in his throat. “Mm, I don’t think so. If he wanted that kind of reaction, I think Ingrid has him covered.”
He swiftly tilted his head to the side to avoid the stray spoon that was violently thrown his way, courtesy of the man sitting across from him.
“Oh, FUCK you, Ted!” Jay snapped indignantly, the dreamy expression that was previously on his face now gone. Upon realizing what he said, his eyes narrowed as his lips twisted in disgust. “And no, not like that way either!”
In response, Ted tossed Jay a fleeting grin as his free hand rose up to gesture at a waitress nearby. “Can we have another dessert spoon here, please? My friend kind of dropped his.”
“And whose fault is that, asshole?” Jay grumbled in a hiss, throwing himself back into his seat with his arms crossed as he waited for his new spoon. It wasn’t long before their waitress returned with a new spoon for Jay, and once she was gone, the younger man let out a tired sigh as he resumed eating.
“So, what’s new with you?” Jay asked, as if he never had an outburst to begin with. Ted was used to that: Jay’s temper was like a firecracker with how fast it comes and goes. It also helped that Jay was not the type to hold a grudge, as far as Ted knew. Jay’s shows of anger were just that: a show.
“Have you heard anything from the sociopath?” he continued, sounding like he wasn’t expecting much. “Tried to get a hold of the man, but he either gave me a fake number, has a different phone, or the ass is ignoring me.”
“Yeeeaaah…” Ted had the decently to look apologetic for that, even if he was sure that the person in question would feel less guilt about the matter. “He’s… different phone, definitely. He has a few different ones for different purposes. He never uses the one for social calls.”
Jay let out a derisive snort at that, rolling his eyes. “Why am I not surprised? Yeah, I figured he’s one of those sorta guys.”
It was not unusual for a criminal- especially an overly cautious one- that wanted their identity hidden to use different phones in order to avoid getting tracked. If not for that particular reason, then the criminal in question did not want to be the type that’s easily found by anyone. It was both a tactic and a behavioral trait that both Jay and Ted were familiar with.
Upon realization that Ted knew about Robin’s multiple phones and which ones he used- or didn’t use at all- Jay gave Ted a curious look with a raised brow. “Wait, so you guys hang out still?”
Ted’s gaze was now focused on his still melting ice cream. It wasn’t out of embarrassment or out of shame, but simply the want to actually finish the damn thing before it became reality that he wasted money for a dessert that he could not even finish in time.
The former cop nodded once as he began to scoop spoonfuls of ice cream into his mouth. After swallowing once, he replied in an offhanded manner, “Yeah, that and more.”
Jay laughed through his nose at that, his spoon digging into his cheesecake for another bite. “What do you mean, ‘that and more’?” he asked with prominent amusement, grinning. “Dude, what more can you guys do besides hang out? It’s not like you’re sleeping together or anything.”
“Oh, no, we are now, actually,” Ted replied casually, just as he popped another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.
Another few spoonfuls later, he realized that it was uncharacteristically dead silent from Jay’s side of the table. When the former cop looked up, he saw that Jay was seemingly frozen in place with how still he was, staring at Ted with wide eyes and his mouth gaping wide open.
As if Ted’s gaze on him broke him out of the shock he was in, Jay’s mouth opened and closed a few times like a goldfish struggling for air. It was as if he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words to say. Ted knew it wouldn’t last long however, and he began to do a countdown in his head until he believed Jay could finally regain his composure.
Three… two… one…
Right on time, Jay’s mouth opened wide just as Ted reached ‘zero’ in his mind.
“DUDE!!”
The other patrons in the restaurant were startled when Jay suddenly stood up and slammed both his hands down on the table. Even with the eyes of everyone on him, Jay kept his shock-filled face directed in Ted’s direction as he yelled,
“YOU’RE DATING THE SOCIOPATH!?”
Unphased by Jay’s loud horror- he had been fully expecting it, honestly- Ted simply nodded once in confirmation, which only made Jay look even more horrified when he realized that he wasn’t joking.
“Yeeep,” Ted said in an easygoing drawl, even popping the ‘p’ for emphasis. Now it was Ted’s turn to point his utensil at the other man’s dessert. “Eat your cheesecake. It’s not good to leave it out in the open air for too long.”
Even despite his passionate love for desserts and Ted’s advice, which Jay would wholeheartedly agree with on a normal day, the younger man remained standing for a while longer. He continued to stare and gape at Ted, until his brain finally seemed to register the older man’s command and he slumped helplessly back down into his seat, looking dizzy all of a sudden.
“Dude,” Jay said, uncharacteristically quiet.
“Hm?”
“Dude.”
“What?” Ted insisted.
Finally looking like he regained his composure, Jay looked at Ted with a somber look on his face. Then, with all the seriousness in the world, and with a voice full of worry, Jay asked;
“Dude… are you okay?”
Without skipping a beat, and not even offended by the question, since Ted knew very well where Jay was coming from, he offered the younger man a pleased- almost smug- smirk.
“Never better. I’ve actually been sleeping well even, thanks to him-”
Jay suddenly threw his arms out and began waving them frantically as he shook his head rapidly. “Stop! Stopstopstopstop- I don’t want to know THAT!”
Jay then squeezed his eyes shut, before letting out a groan as he brought his hands back to his face, scrubbing at his eyelids as if trying to rid himself of an unwanted image that only he could see.
Ted only quirked an eyebrow at his reaction, his grin still firmly in place. “You did ask.”
Jay ripped his hands away from his face with so much force, Ted was almost worried that he might yank his arms out of his sockets, even as unlikely as that may be. Jay’s lack of wincing proved that he was fine however, especially as he glared at Ted. If looks could kill, Ted had a feeling he would be on fire right about now.
“Not about THAT, numbskull!” Jay snapped, before grimacing and bringing a hand back to his face to scrub at it again. “Ugh, gross… maaaan, I don’t want this picture in my miiiind.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to sound like a total girl, man… but gross.”
“Oh, trust me, Jay.” Though his smile was now gone, Ted’s amusement was still radiating off of him in waves. “I know. If you were one of the girls, you would be asking for more details instead of telling me to shut up.”
“Man, I hope Ven slaps you if you talk all perverted with her like you did with me just now.” Jay stared at Ted through an opened between his fingers. He finally allowed himself to snort with humor, and his hand fell away from his face. “Ingrid might get off from the details. I dunno.”
Jay then let out a sigh, before giving Ted a mock look of disappointment. “But Ted? Anyone ever tell you that your choice in guys suck?”
He realized what he had just said too late. Upon seeing how Ted’s lips twitched in a sign that he was about to smile again, Jay quickly shot an arm out in the other man’s direction in a gesture to stop him.
“No,” Jay insisted, glaring at Ted in a knowing manner. “I know what I said, and I know what’s coming next.” His voice dropped to a low growl of warning. “Don’t even go there with me, bro, or I’ll shank ya.”
“You can try.” Completely undaunted by the threat, Ted only shrugged. “Not like I need anything myself to take you down.”
“Wow.” Jay gave Ted a dry look. The worst thing was that Jay also knew Ted could easily take him down if he wanted to, even unarmed. Kassum was bigger and taller than he was, and Ted had no issue manhandling the guy at all, so what hope did Jay have? “Wow, dude, wow. Way to bruise a guy’s ego.”
To Jay’s mild ire, Ted gave him one of those infuriatingly cheeky smirks once again.
“Hm.” Ted made a show of looking away, as if he was deep in thought. “You get hurt easily, huh? Looks like I have to start bringing a first aid kit after all-”
“Man, shut up.”
Normally we release posters the day before the episode, but we’ve kept you waiting a long time, so here’s @disasterscenario’s latest masterpiece a week early! See you in a week (or five days for $4 Patreon supporters) for “Juno Steel and the Time Gone By”!
In a lot of ways, it reminded me of my old wedding gown: it was dusty, smelled like a lot of dreams had probably died in it, and pushed off into a dark corner somewhere in hopes that everyone would forget the damn thing ever happened…
Most of our $10 Patreon supporters requested this image for the last art raffle, so naturally @disasterscenario obliged. Remember, today’s raffle is already open for $10 supporters to make requests, so get to it!
EXCITING NEWS: The outrageously talented artist Mikaela Buckley @disasterscenario is joining the Penumbra team! Our next episode, “Peter Nureyev and the Angel of Brahma,” drops on October 25, and we’ll be releasing Mikaela’s cover art for that episode as a teaser the day before that.
We’re so honored to be collaborating with her (see her work featuring a certain captivating master thief above!). And travelers…this is only the beginning of what she’s got cooked up for us. There’s much, much more in store.
Moreee
I made matching pfps this time haha
It’s been a while since I drew on my phone woah
I love them so much
I had a little free time at work so i made some quick cloud doodles, I’m surprised how they came out since i used only mouse with these!
thatcrazybirdnerd